The attack is on full force…
In the last few weeks as my family and I try to move forward in God’s will for our lives, the attacks have began coming at us full force, non stop, one right after the other. The tears have fallen continually from weary eyes where it would seem the well would be dry, yet it flows. These attacks aren’t the ones you see coming, no, quite the opposite, they are the sneak attacks that creep into every nook and cranny they can find in our lives that catches us off guard and sucker punches us. I would imagine if our lives could look something like the original batman shows you would be seeing words like, BAM, POW, WHAM, floating above our heads and tattooed across our hearts….
This past Monday morning, I woke up feeling in a way that I have never quite felt before, and it was as if the biggest fight of my day would be to just to….breathe. Feelings of weariness, and surrender floated about my soul, and I just wanted to stay under the covers and be left alone. As I peeled myself from the bed, and began my day, hoping for a break and that hope gave way to being attacked again…Thoughts danced in my mind to a tune that I don’t like to jam to, thoughts that if they were to be sung, it would sound something like a sad love ballad.
Driving home from work, something happened, perhaps there was a hand reaching to tune the music of my thoughts into a much different channel. I am a very routine person and at the spur of the moment, I was turning a different direction, only it was as if I wasn’t the one turning the steering wheel. Then I thought well I’ll just turn here and get back on track, but no. I found myself driving, listening to the sounds of the faith building CD I had just burned for my car filled with my favorite worship songs to help encourage me on those not so strong days…..
On this path that I don’t normally take, I’m driving along with tears running down my cheeks and singing along with the words that are blaring from my speakers, and as I sang these words, “Not for a moment, will you forsake me” my eyes are lifted and look to the left only to see a road sign that says, “Forsaken Dr.” My heart froze as I heard the words spoken ever so tenderly to my heart, “Stay with me, I will not forsake you, never“. I continue, “I was held in your arms, carried for a thousand miles…” just then something lifted my head to the right at another road sign,“Shallow Creek Rd“, and I heard the words, “I’m not going to let you drown, I am carrying you.”
My soul felt as if it had been lifted and carried away, and as my attention ran back to the music, it discovered me singing,”I know who goes before me“, and that very moment as the words barely crossed my lips, I seen the image of Christ standing before my car looking at me with such unfailing love in His eyes,… “I know who stands behind“, and then the vision of Christ behind my car flashes as my eyes are carried to my rear view mirror in amazement!
Just then my eyes are drawn away from me to yet another road sign to my left, “Circle Drive“, and the words that are whispered to the weak spot in my heart longing to be comforted,.. “I’m not taking you in circles Love, I have a plan for you, stay straight, stay on my path for you, follow me, don’t look to the left or the right, look at me ahead of you.”
The rush of emotion flowing through my veins from my heart and to my eyes come flooding out, as He draws my attention to the song and I sing, “Nothing formed against me shall stand” and my vision was led to an old barn that is falling to the ground as if the weight of something had commanded it to fall, “You hold the whole world in your hands, I’m holding on to your promises, you are faithful, you are faithful, you are faithful” then I hear, “I have you in my hands, I have your whole world in my hands, and nothing formed against you will stand, it will all fall to my will, at my command” usher into my heart.
The tears of love rushed down my skin, as I sang, “The God of angel armies is always by my side” and in that instant I felt a presence so strongly beside me as I seen Christ sitting in the passenger seat next to me, and felt as if a hand was there, just on my leg, and I reached down and placed my right hand on top of where I felt his and just held it, singing “The One who reigns forever is a friend of mine” as I watched the rain fall on my windshield, and felt the moisture roll down my cheek……
Those songs that God used that day as instruments of speaking His truth into my heart never leave me. Listen below…