It’s me again, God!

Hey, it’s me, I just had a few things to say to you, I know you have time for me, you always do :))

It’s amazing to watch you work, I can’t take my eyes off of you! Truth be known, I don’t want to! I sit back and think about all the changes you have brought in to my life and honestly it makes my head spin, but it makes my heart so grateful and blissful! You have done so much in the last two years. You know, I can remember when you first started, boy did I pitch a fit! I threw some really good temper tantrums didn’t I? How did you put up with me? I can remember sitting in that therapists office talking about everything that was going on in my life at the time, this crazy crazy mess that I call my life, and here I sit thinking she was going to make me feel all better and make sense of everything. What an awakening! When she started talking to me about these things, these “character flaws” of mine, I got mad! I really just wanted to get up and walk out of there, and I think it was that moment I first heard you tell me, “Angie, sit down & listen!!”, I didn’t want to, no way, I didn’t want to hear what she nor you had to say! That’s not me, that’s not how I am, that’s not what I think! Wow! You know they always say that a true real friend will tell you the truth even though that might mean it hurts you. You are a real true friend, no doubt! You told me to the truth that day, and I can remember going home and crying because it hurt my feelings so bad! I have to admit, I kinda got mad at you! I couldn’t believe you would say those things to me and hurt my feelings like that! But I can remember that it was in those moments that I felt more love from you than I ever have before! I felt your arms around me, and I felt you put my head with my crying eyes on your shoulder, and tell me that it was going to be okay. Once I got over all the anger & the hurt, I began to see things the way you meant for me to. You didn’t want to hurt my feelings, you didn’t want to make me mad, but you loved me enough to tell me the truth because we can’t change what we don’t acknowledge! In case I haven’t said it lately, Thank you for loving me enough to make me acknowledge those things!! It has made such a difference in my life!

In some of my most troubling times days and months after that, I can remember coming to you in desperate pain, crying out to you for help and for you to make the pain go away! I’ll never forget that day in my bedroom floor when I was listening to a song that you played on the radio for me, and how the tears fell from my eyes, and how I clutched my chest and just pounded away at the floor crying and screaming for you to make it stop! The thing I remember the most is how I felt more peace and more love and more comfort than I can ever remember feeling in my entire life! I felt you with me, I felt you place your arms around me and let me cry once again to you, and even though I was so angry, hurt, and devastated, you made it all go away. I can remember asking you that day to fill me with your forgiveness, your compassion, your love, and your strength!! Do you remember that? I’ll never forget it because at that moment I felt it, I felt it come into my heart and into my soul, and I got through more than I ever thought possible. I have never experienced forgiveness and compassion in the way I did that day and in the days ahead of me! Has anyone ever told you how amazing you are? You are, YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!! The comfort & peace I felt as soon as I asked for it, wow, that’s all I can say is WOW!! You walked me through some serious Four Alarm Fires and you know what? I didn’t get burned!! Talk about awesome, that’s awesome!! I’m not saying that I didn’t have some scars, some scratches, some bruises, but nope, no burns!! And the way that I healed from all of those things, it’s simply mind blowing!! How do you do that? I know for a fact that no one else can!!

I started throwing some temper tantrums again didn’t I? I know, I know, I should have known by then that you knew what you were doing, and that you would take care of me through everything that you were telling me to do. But hey, in my defense now, change is hard, letting go of things that you’re comfortable with, we’ll it’s not so easy! I fought you hard didn’t I? I’m sorry, I know I’ve said that before and you’ve already forgiven me, but I truly am sorry for fighting you on everything you were telling me to do! I was scared, I was afraid of what would happen when I did! Yes, some of the very things I was afraid of did happen, but you know what, even though I fussed then about doing them for you, I count it all joy now! I see why you had everything take place the way you did now. Yeah I know, I’ve always hated when people said that to me, I see it “Now”, I guess that’s admitting that I didn’t completely trust you. I’m sorry for that too!! I should know by now that I can so totally trust you with my life!! You have never let me down, not once!! After I listened to you, and did what you were telling me to do in more ways than one, I started seeing things your way! And you know what?? Things in my life got so much better after a while! I can understand why you did the things you did. It’s been good for me, it really has, but of course you knew that all along, I just had to be a big baby and whine about it didn’t I? Yeah by the way, sorry about that too, lol!! Boy, I sure am saying I’m sorry a lot today, but that’s okay because I know you always forgive me!! You know I’m only human and I make mistakes and I’m not perfect, but I am walking closer to you these days, and I’m glad that I am!! Which brings me to what I really wanted to say today!!

I want nothing more than a complete and total passionate & intimate relationship with you! I want there to be absolutely nothing between my heart and you! If I mess up, I know you’ll forgive me, but I want to stop messing up so much, can you help me with that? I don’t want to walk through this life alone, I want to walk hand in hand with you always! I know I used to fight about a lot of things with you, and I don’t want to do that anymore! You have shown me more than once, more than a million times already that you are always with me, that you are always taking care of me, and that you always, always, always have my best interest at heart! So there’s really no need for me to fight you! I have felt things in my heart for you in the last several months that I haven’t felt in a very long time, and I am so grateful that you changed me, and redesigned my heart so that I could feel those things again! I am in love with you, there’s no doubt about it!! You make me want to be a better person!! You are the only one that has been there for me regardless of any situation, any circumstance, any mess up that I have made, any word that I had said, any action that I had, no matter what I did, you have never left my side!! I felt lost for a long time, and I wanted to get back to that intimate relationship with you that I once had, but I let so many situations and circumstances stand in the way, and I don’t want to do that anymore!! You are worth so much more than any of those situations!! I know that you never moved, I did, and I have moved back to you in a way that just thrills my heart and soul! You know, I want people to know you because they know me!! I want those who are within my reach, whether on the computer, out in the world, places I go, anywhere, I want them to see you through me!! I want them to know that I am yours!! If I slip up, get my attention, and I know you will because you always have!! I know my enemy will try and pull me away from you just like you said he would! He’s been fighting me so hard, and pulling and tugging me, bringing up the past, reminding me of situations that he knows hurts me, and putting circumstances in front of me, trying his very best to pull me away from you and doubt you and what you’ve done for me!! But that’s one fight that i won’t stop fighting!! He’s not my friend, he doesn’t have my best interest at heart, he doesn’t love me, he’s done nothing for me but cause me pain, trouble, conflict, hurt, anger, and I’m not giving him the room to do that anymore!! I only have room for you in my life, so guess what I did?? I so totally kicked him to the curb and told him not to come back!!! Yeah I really did! I know, I know, he won’t actually stay away, but that’s okay because you’ve placed me in your protection, I feel your angels all around me all the time!! It’s such a cool feeling too by the way, I love it!! So I’m asking you, if there’s anything between my heart and you that’s not right, that’s getting in the way of the relationship that I desire with you, remove it! Reveal it to me and remove it! I don’t want anything there, have no room for it, just room for you!!! That’s how much I Love you and this thing we got going on!! It’s not a secret to you, I know, but seriously, this is the best relationship I have ever had, and I know it will always be!! I know you gave me my husband, and my daughter, and my family & friends, and by the way, thanks for all them, you’ve placed them in my life at such a perfect time, and they have all been such a blessing to me, every last one of them, and I know it’s no secret to you or anyone else for that matter, lol, how much I love my husband and my family!! I am so grateful to you for them!!! But still, this thing me and you have going on, THE BEST!!

Okay, just wanted to tell you those things today!! And while I’m at it, just wanted to say thank you for all the walks and talks we’ve been having!! My workouts are so much better with you to talk to!! Makes time go by so totally fast too!! I bet those ppl in the weight room thought I was crazy today when I started lifting my hands to praise you!! LOL, but that’s okay, maybe it planted a seed, you already know if it did, totally cool with me!! I don’t have to know everything!! Thanks for everything, you really are amazing, awesome, wonderful, and I am just always in awe of you!!

Thanks God, I Love you Lord!!

Love your Daughter & Your Princess,
Angie 🙂