Do you ever remember being a kid and in your PE class you had to do the monkey bar thing? Oh those days I dreaded so much. I was never any good at it. I couldn’t hold myself up there for nothing. My hands would try to hold on so tight, sometimes I gripped so hard that I would get blisters, and trying to hold up the weight of my body made it that much harder. It was just too much to bare on my own. My hands would get sweaty and I could literally feel the blisters forming, blisters that would be there for week afterwards reminding me how I tried so hard to hold on and couldn’t. On rare days, the teacher would let us use a chair to help us, and I didn’t mind so much on those days, because I knew that chair was there to catch me if I fell, it gave me support, and I knew I wasn’t doing it all alone. But my favorite memory on those days, was letting go, oh how good it felt to just let go of that bar that I was holding so tight to.
As I think about that, I am reminded of the freedom that I feel as I let go of situations in my life that I’ve been holding onto so tightly and all on my own. Just like it was hard to keep holding on to those monkey bars, it is hard to hold onto hurts in our lives, bad situations that we may have gone through, addictions that we may have. We know that we’re going to end up with blisters that are going to hurt for weeks and leave scars reminding us of how tight we held on. We may think it’s just easier to hold on to them and to let go, and maybe sometimes that is true, but I recall the feeling of letting go of those monkey bars and I know how free I felt, and I knew that the blisters couldn’t get any worse after I let go, they were going to start healing.
We all deal with situations in our lives, someone who has hurt us maybe by lying to us, breaking a trust, breaking a promise, talking behind our backs, saying things to us that we know are the truth but we weren’t ready to hear it. Situations like addictions to something that we know isn’t good for us, and addictions come in different forms, they can range from food addictions, smoking, drugs, alcohol, and many more that are out there. Job losses, failed marriages, death, financial ruins, these are all situations that causes hurts in our lives. When we deal with these things, we try to deal with them on our own, and we hold onto them. We pray and we ask God to please heal us, to help us get through, we tell Him that we give it to Him to take care of that we trust Him, but funny thing is, we take it back. Why do we do that? Why do we keep holding on so tightly to those monkey bars until the blisters start forming?
God wants us to trust Him, He doesn’t make us, He’s not like that, He wants us to choose to trust Him. He’s there for us just like that chair was for me on those monkey bars, He’s sitting there and He’s waiting on me to depend on Him. I have been guilty of this, and I think we all have. I have dealt with alot of hurtful situations in my life for quite a few years now, but more so in the last year, and some situations, I totally gave up to God. I knew I couldn’t do it on my own, I knew I needed His help and I asked Him and it’s simply amazing how He healed me and how He helped me. This was a big hurt too, and it seemed so easy to hand it over to Him. Maybe because it was so big that I immediately realized I couldn’t get through it on my own, I’m not sure. But then I have had other hurts come along since and I keep holding on. I felt God moving in me all along, I was allowing Him to lead me and guide me in this situation, He spoke to me and told me what I needed to do, who I needed to talk to, what needed to be done, and for the most part, I did exactly what He told me to, said what He told me to say. But there was one thing that God was telling me to do that I didn’t do immediately. He had been telling me to do this for quite a while, more than a year, actually a few years, and I kept pushing it back. This one thing that He was telling me to do, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it, I wanted to I really did, but it was such a big step for us as a family, and I have to admit it meant stepping out of my comfort zone and I guess I didn’t like that. I also knew that in the process of me listening and obeying God some people that were near and dear to my heart were going to hurt, and I couldn’t stand the thought of that. I battled for a very long time with God about this one thing He was telling me to do. I pushed it back, I kept praying and asking if He was sure, who am I kidding right? This is God, of course He was sure of what He was telling me to do, but I guess I wasn’t sure. I was, but I used that as an excuse to keep putting it off. When we don’t do what God is telling us to do, when He tells us to do it, He will allow things to happen and other things to take place in our lives to move us in the direction that He wants us to go. So I guess you could say I was asking for everything that came my way in one sense.
So in the process of trying to figure out if I was hearing God right (although I knew I was), some hurtful situations took place, my heart was broken into pieces in the process, trust that I had in others was broken, I felt betrayed, alone, and like I had lost not only one friend, but many, and I didn’t understand what I had done, and to be honest I still don’t. I don’t know what I did, what I said, anything. I have prayed consistently to God to reveal these things to me, but I get nothing. I have doubted myself, I have questioned myself, I have cried many many days until I would have thought there were no more tears left. But as I pray, God assures me that my conscience is clear, that I wasn’t doing anything wrong, that I was being what He wanted me to be, and that was a light for Him, a light thatspreaded hope and faith in Him, a hope and faith that led to healing. God has assured me that I said the things that He wanted me to say and the moments He wanted me to say them. I was glad that God assured me of that because I didn’t want to bring any dishonor to Him, He has done far too much for me in my life, and has always loved me no matter what. He has told me to let it all go, and I kept holding on, holding on tight, trying to figure out what I did, what went wrong, what in the world happened. Once again, I have to remember that God reveals things to us only when we need them to be revealed. His plan wasn’t for it to be revealed to me, His plan was to get me to obey what He was telling me to do that I kept pushing off. So after a final cut to my heart, and after many more tears were shed, I surrendered to God. I cried out to Him, and said okay God, I’ve had enough now, I can’t take anymore. I couldn’t take any more hurt, and I’m ready to listen to you. I will do this, no matter how hard it is for me, I will do this! But Lord, you are going to have to help me, give me the strength that I need, give me the courage I need to step out and step away. It’s hard to step away from something that you’ve known for almost 2 decades. I knew that those that I cared so much about was going to hurt, and that pained me, but I couldn’t fight God anymore, I didn’t have it in me anymore. So I let go of those monkey bars……
Stepping out and stepping away wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be, painful yes, but only because I couldn’t stand seeing people close to me hurt because of this decision. When I did what God had asked me to do, it was AMAZING! It’s like a freedom I can’t find words for. I felt close to God, closer than I have in such a long time. Everything that was taking place started healing me, I could feel the shattered pieces of my heart being put back together, God was mending my heart, and not only was He mending it, He was putting it back together the way He created it before all the hurts. I felt such a relief, a ton of weight had been lifted off my shoulders and my heart. Everything fit, everything felt better, everything that was being said was what God wanted me to hear, I was having my release. My release of all the pain and hurts that I had been hanging onto instead of letting go. Now I will admit, I’m a work in progress. Things have still taken place along this situation that has hurt me, and I kept feeling myself taking it back and wondering once again what I had done? But God is telling me everyday and everyday I feel that I am letting go. Sometimes it’s not our issues, it’s someone elses issues and we can’t hold onto those monkey bars anymore, we have to let go so those blisters can heal, and that’s what I have done. I am confident in what God is doing in my life and in my heart. I know that I am now in His will, obeying Him, trusting Him, and I see now why He wanted me to do this. I wish I would have listened years ago when He first started speaking to me about it, I could have saved myself so much pain and struggles.
I am free, I am happy, I am loved, I am exactly where God wants me at this time in my life, and there isn’t a greater feeling out there in the world.
When you let go and let God heal you, it’s like free falling, you don’t know what to expect, you don’t know where you are going to land, and you don’t worry about it because you know that He is right there, and although you feel like you are free falling in the sky, you are in Gods arms and you are safe and sound. God can heal anything in our lives, God wants to heal us from whatever it is in our lives that we are dealing with, hurts, hurts that lead to addictions, addictions that lead to bigger problems, God can heal us from all of it, but we have to let him. We have to let go of those monkey bars and quit holding on so tight, stop being afraid of where we are going to land, because God is there, just like that chair was for me that dreadful day in PE class. Healing is a choice that we have to make, and there are steps to healing, and sometimes before we even realize that healing is what is taking place in our lives, we are already well into the process. God can take the worst situations in our lives and turn them into just the opposite. We learn from hurts, habits, and hangups, and we trust God and we move forward. God is still working on me, and I know that it’s going to be hard, but I hope that I won’t be as stubborn as I was before, because I want to be healed. The task ahead of me is to stop caring so much about what others think about me, stop caring what is being said about me and by who, stop feeling like everyone has to like me, because the fact of the matter is, they won’t, and God has reminded me more than once, it’s their loss not mine. I know who I am in God, and I am perfectly okay with that, and I know God is because He created me to be the way I am, passionate, enthusiastic, loving, caring, sharing, inspiring, honest, trustworthy, and so much more. I am a confident child of God, and I love what He is doing in my life!
So whatever you are holding onto today, let go! Just let go and give it all to God and stop taking it back. Do you want to be healed from it all? Do you want to experience that freedom that I have talked about? Give it all to God and stop taking it back! Let go of those monkey bars now, and let those blisters heal! God is awesome, and almight, and He is the only one that can heal it all! So let Him today!